It’s no secret that as we age, we need a little extra help here and there. But when you suffer from Dementia, the level of care needed can quickly increase. Especially in the later stages of a diagnosis. Dementia is ever prevalent in the UK as close to 1 million people suffer from it. Two-thirds of these are still living at home. It falls to the families of to take on the role of primary caregiver. It’s been estimated 40 million UK citizens, will take on some role of a live in carer in their lifetime. However, without any prior experience it can quickly become all-consuming, and many seek external support from a professional.
Country Cousins are the UK’s leading providers of live-in care, sharing their best tips on how to respectfully and carefully tell your parents that they need help from a professionally trained carer.
Finding the right time
Before any mention of care, tell them that you’d like to have a private talk together. In a space that they’re comfortable in. Avoid social situations when broaching the topic as it might lead to unnecessary embarrassment. If your parent suffers quite severely with dementia, they might act out or need time alone to process what you’re saying to them.
Selling the idea of a live-in carer
A live-in carer will bring endless benefits to you both, but your parent might struggle to see this. To ease loved ones into the idea, refer to poignant times where some extra help may have been helpful to them. A carer would be there to help them when needed.
Facing rejection
Your parent has become accustomed to you looking after them. Hiring somebody new to take over can lead to them feeling abandoned and as though they’re a burden on you. When they voice their concerns or objections regarding a live-in carer, listen to them. Don’t talk or shout above, then once they’re done you can calmly and rationally counter back.
If you feel it appropriate, tell them how much you worry about them when you’re not there. There’s a good chance they already know this but haven’t heard you say it before. Doing so can clear the haze and help them to realise how much they need a carer. Not only for their own safety, but for your piece of mind too.
What to do if they are adamant on not receiving care
End the conversation by saying you understand them. Only wish for the best for them and reassure them that you love them dearly. You aren’t doing this to cause any upset or anger. Rather to look after them in the best way possible.
After some time, mention it again and if they’re still adamant on not getting a carer, seek expert advice from an impartial resource. Some doctors are happy to do home visits to assess the priority of your parent receiving care.
If they’ve come around to the idea but don’t want to jump straight into full time live-in care, respite care and companion services are perfect.
Fears over loss of independence
Your parent knows you and loves you, and throughout your lives together you’ve always helped one another. This means they probably don’t see you as a carer, as you’re doing what people always do for the ones they love. If you aren’t living with the parent you’re caring for, you go home at the end of the day, and your parent is home alone again. They maintain their physical independence because you’re just popping round to check on them and have a catch up whilst there.
The job of a carer is to put all their focus onto their client and their safety. Reassure your parent it might feel out of the ordinary at first, but no carer is ever there to diminish their independence. All Country Cousin carers support and encourage complete independence and will offer their expert care when it’s needed.
Seeking external help through a carer isn’t something to be ashamed of, but rather something to be embraced and encouraged if the help is needed.
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